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[scotty Friend scottyJoin date: March 2008Posts: 2339Downloads:0Uploads:13 Thanks: 76 Thanked: 827 times in 595 posts]

#137113

I came across this on the Joomla Docs site and thought it was worth sharing…

10. Use the cheapest hosting provider you can find. Preferably use a shared server that hosts hundreds of other sites, some of which are high-traffic porn sites. Don’t check the list of recommended hosting providers. 9. Don’t waste time with regular backups. Maybe the hosting provider will help you out. 8. Don’t waste time adjusting PHP and Joomla! settings for increased security. Hey, the install was brain-dead easy. How bad could the rest be? Worry about those details only if there’s a problem.
7. Use the same username and password for everything. Use the same username and password for your on-line bank account, Joomla! administrator account, Amazon account, Yahoo account, etc. Hey, who has time to keep track of so many passwords? And anyway, since you don’t change passwords, it’s easier to just use the same one all the time, everywhere. 6. Install your brand new beautiful Joomla!-powered site, and celebrate a job well done. Don’t worry about it again. After all, if you don’t make any more changes, what can go wrong?
5. Do all upgrades on the live site right away. Who needs a development and testing server anyway? If an installation fails, you’ll just uninstall it again. That will hopefully also undo any damage the installation caused.
4. Trust third-party extensions. Install all the cool-looking stuff you can find. Anyone smart enough to write a Joomla! extension will provide perfect code that blocks every known exploit attempt, now and forever. After all, almost all this stuff is provided for free by well-meaning, good-hearted people who know what they are doing.
3. Don’t worry about updating to the latest version of Joomla! Hey, nothing has gone wrong so far, and if it ain’t broke don’t fix it! Same plan for the third-party extensions. Too much work; life’s a beach.
2. When your site gets cracked, panic your way into the Joomla! Forums. Start a new post with a very familiar title: “My Site’s Been Hacked! (sic)” Be sure not to leave relevant information, such as which obsolete versions of Joomla! and third party extensions you installed.
1. Once your site’s been cracked, fix the defaced index.php file and assume all else is well. Don’t check raw logs, change your passwords, remove the entire directory and rebuild from clean backups, or take any other overly paranoid-seeming action. When the attackers return the next day, scream loudly that you’ve been “hacked again,” and it’s all Joomla!’s fault. Ignore the fact that removing a defaced file is not even step one in the difficult process of fully recovering a cracked site.

About this list
This list originally appeared late one night on the Joomla Forums after one developer ended a particularly long round of crack recovery. The post struck many a nerve among Joomlaists far and wide, and has been translated into several languages. Some nerves were near the funny bone, others painfully far from it. Your experience may vary.

3 users say Thank You to scotty for this useful post

1. jay973
2. mj1256
3. questbg

[mj1256 Friend mj1256Join date: June 2007Posts: 1473Downloads:10Uploads:35 Thanks: 84 Thanked: 225 times in 118 posts]

#286496

i love this one, i saw it a while back, thanks for posting it here, its always good for a laugh.

how about these

1) believe that you can have a site equivlent to amazon or facebook for free
2) believe you can do it yourself with no knowledge of HTML, php or css
3) believe that everything and everyone should work for free
4) believe that joomla owes us when something goes wrong or we don’t understand
5) believe that JA should be responsible for all third party components, community builder, fireboard, and the joomla cms system as well as the templates
6) believe that its the responsibility of the host to backup and maintain the site

any more??

[questbg Friend questbgJoin date: May 2008Posts: 1912Downloads:0Uploads:1 Thanks: 146 Thanked: 339 times in 197 posts]

#286514

Very good, but oh so true! 😀

I think I would add, not changing the default backend username from ‘Admin’ to something else. After all, if that’s how Joomla creates it, why bother changing it?

[scotty Friend scottyJoin date: March 2008Posts: 2339Downloads:0Uploads:13 Thanks: 76 Thanked: 827 times in 595 posts]

#286564

mj1256;106142
2) believe you can do it yourself with no knowledge of HTML, php or css

LOL! My favorite. So true.

[SP Media Friend SP MediaJoin date: September 2014Posts: 477Downloads:0Uploads:12 Thanks: 38 Thanked: 70 times in 27 posts]

#286581

The one I hate most is when they try to make so many changes, you end up back pretty much where you started, as I did recently.

[wooohanetworks Friend wooohanetworksJoin date: September 2008Posts: 1239Downloads:0Uploads:2 Thanks: 148 Thanked: 138 times in 41 posts]

#286660

What is cheap hosting???;)

Do I need a dedicated server with 2x250GB storage for having my own server that costs me 200 bucks a month? As nowadays, there is whether free hosting or cheap hosting and cheap hosting is also GoDaddyhosting or any regular hosts hosting. It should rather be called “real pro hosting” or “reseller no real pro hosting” for the same money as the regular hosts.

Still, vServer against dedicated Server, it is not the price you look for but the host. Not all hosts host porn sites on the same server just because the sever cost on 8bucks a months and as to legal issues most of these porn hosts host on the Maledives or whatever offshore jurisdiction, maybe also in Ireland, as to no taxes and you have quite a chance to never see a porn site on some same vServer when you choose the right, cost efficient host and not the most expensive host…;)

[SP Media Friend SP MediaJoin date: September 2014Posts: 477Downloads:0Uploads:12 Thanks: 38 Thanked: 70 times in 27 posts]

#286663

I have my own dedicated server, I’d never go to a reseller, vps, or shared plan. Ever.

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